Lizzy's thoughts, suggestions and requests:
    Read this thoroughly to make sure you agree with the basic ideas.

    Change as much as you can to make it more specific to your situation.

    DO NOT use my words to deceive your loved ones.  I have great respect for family and believe in honesty.  I do not want to lie to anyone's mother or be associated with the act of doing so.

Dear Grandma,

I've been thinking about what you said about the kids.  I understand that you didn't mean to criticize my parenting and that you are simply concerned for Ann & Andy.  Still, I think you should know that you hurt my feelings.  I would think that you know me well enough to trust that I would never do anything to harm my babies. 

You, of course, have the right to have an opinion as to the right or wrong way to raise kids--I mean you've had a wee bit of experience (smile) and yours turned out pretty good.  Despite the fact that you don't understand my methods however, I am not ignoring my children's spiritual needs.  I am teaching them about the creator, about good and evil, about right and wrong and about how to talk to the divine.  Granted, I don't send them to Sunday school, we don't go to church and we don't discuss the Bible very much... but then, traditionally religious families aren't as common as they used to be.  For many families, this choice is based on laziness; our family has at least put some real thought into it.  There are many wonderful features in the Catholic Church, but you and I both know that there is some pretty bad stuff too.  At this time, I don't want to expose my kids to the bad.

My main concern here is avoiding putting the children in the middle.  I'm thinking you and I should sit down and talk about what you can do with them to pass on your beliefs.  You might be surprised at how much I'm comfortable with.  Basically, I don't want them worshiping God out of fear.  I don't want them hearing from you-- someone they love very much--that their mom is crazy or wrong or evil.  I don't want them to feel that religion is a secretive thing.  I don't want them to learn to "just do what they are told" without thinking.  I don't want them taught that there is only one, true religion.

Grandma, I love you very much.  I respect your opinions.  I think that you are wonderful to, and for, the kids.  Please, try to be open to my ways and respect my wishes.  This is important to me.   If you want to have more details about what I do want them to learn, and how you can help me teach them, just call me.  I'm very willing to talk this through.


background by

To Letters
To Lizzy's Hollow